I Can’t Believe I Didn’t DVR This
How did this happen? I apparently missed the media event of the winter. Where were my iMonks? I needed you!
According to the New York Times, NRK, the state broadcaster of Norway, ran their TV show, “National Firewood Night,” back in February. Somehow, they found a way to edit it down to twelve hours — four hours of produced television followed by eight hours of a live fireplace burning and being tended. You read that right — eight hours.
About the first part: “We’ll be sawing, we’ll be splitting, we’ll be stacking and we’ll be burning,” said the host, Rebecca Nedregotten Strand, promising to “try to get to the core of Norwegian firewood culture — because firewood is the foundation of our lives.”
Following the exploration of this culture, the real excitement started. The “action” moved to a farmhouse where an NRK photographer tended a live fireplace. Her face never appeared and there was rarely any sound but that of the flickering flames. However, occasionally her hand could be seen adding wood to the fire or cooking marshmallows or sausages. Viewers could participate via Facebook and make suggestions as to where to place the logs.
One viewer said, ““I couldn’t go to bed because I was so excited. When will they add new logs? Just before I managed to tear myself away, they must have opened the flue a little, because just then the flames shot a little higher.”
And I missed it.
* * *
Now I Am Really Confused
Culture warriors have a new issue to confront in the battle for sexual morals: septesexuality.
National Geographic introduces us to Tetrahymena thermophila, a tiny, single-celled organism that has seven sexes. Now I’ll be the first to say, I don’t even know what that means, much less how to explain it. But you can go to NG and read it for yourself.
The rest of us can simply imagine the sitcom possibilities.
Rapture Update
At the always funny Lark News, I found this important theological news we all apparently missed. No word from Harold Camping.
OTTAWA — The Rapture occurred last Tuesday at 9:43 a.m. Greenwich Mean Time and took both people on the planet whose theology was exactly correct.
Dan Wilson of Ottawa, Canada, was snatched away while sleeping.
“He spent years refining his eschatological scheme,” says his wife. “Just last week he told me he had it all right, but I still disagreed with him on a minor point. I regret that now.”
Rejna Thanawalla of New Delhi, India, also experienced the Rapture, say friends.
“She knew exactly what the books of Revelation and Daniel meant,” they say. “Sadly, none of us listened to her.”
In a surprise, Tim LaHaye says he was “slightly wrong on the subject of the Beast,” and was left behind. Other prophecy experts say they, too, botched minor points in their end times charts.
“Looks like we’ll have to stay and wait this out,” said one disappointed pastor.
* * *
From the Feline Ennui Department
Today, I want to introduce you to one of my new (anti-) heroes.
He is Henri.
The Existential Cat.
You can find more videos of him on YouTube.
If you desire.
But perhaps you lack desire.
Or hope.
Like Henri.